Is This a Joke?

So as per usual when I'm home at my parents house for a while I start getting into the bad habit of going to bed later and later each night and subsequently getting up later and later in the morning (I blame Greg). Meaning, last night I went to bed at 3am, was woken up by drunk phone calls from my sister at 3:30am and 3:37am (Thanks a lot by the way) and then had to wake up at 6:30am because I had to be at the airport in Ottawa 3 hours early! The Ottawa airport is a 2hour drive and my flight is at noon. Leaving the house at 8am and arriving at the airport for 10am doesn't sound so bad, right? Right. BUT then some crazy man decides to build an underpants bomb or something and flying into the USofA becomes this huge, complicated deal. No carry-ons! Security proceedures are nuts! and take forever! Be there early! or you'll miss your flight! Delays! etc, etc. So I get on the GD internet and see what it really all means... the Canadian Transit Authority, or something to that name, tells me to go to my air carriers website for details on what I can take on the plane and how early to be there. FUCK. Why such strong language? Because I'm flying the best airline in the world: American Airlines. Yeah, so AA.com tells me I can take my laptop, cameras, other personal items on the plane, even food. yay. They also tell me my other regular, big carry-on will be checked free of charge. double yay. But then when I look for Ottawa to see how early I have to be there... I see this: "All Canadian Cities: 3 hours." All I can think is that they have got to kidding.
If you fly a lot in Canada you know there is a ridiculous difference in airport size, volume, traffic, etc between say Ottawa, Calgary, Winnipeg, and the big 3: Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver. Things get stupid at the big 3. I've flown out of Ottawa before and it is ALWAYS EMPTY. I waltz through check-in, security, and US customs in about 10minutes, probably less. No joke. So when I learn that I should be at the Ottawa airport 3 whole hours early?!?!?! Profanity.
Needless to say, I woke up at 6:30am this morning, after 3.5hours sleep, left the house by 7:07am, drove 2 hours to our Nation's capital, arrived at the airport just after 9am. Found the American desk... waited 35minutes for the desk to even open! Then another 10 in line for my turn to check-in. While waiting the woman in front of me was talking to the people in front of her about carry-ons and then turned to me and said "You know that, right? No carry-ons and your purse needs to be blahblahblah in size." "Yeah, I went to the website. I know." She could see my large purse type bag (with my laptop in it) that was obvisouly bigger than the size she said (the website said no such thing about exact dimensions) and I don't know if she was trying to make me panic and start going through things and make a scene of sorts so she had something to watch while she waited or what. But she raised her poorly drawn-on eyebrows at me and I just stared blankly at her and rasied mine right back. Actually, that's probably a lie. I probably gave her "the look" rather than a blank stare, hahaha. Anyway, how satisfied was I when I checked-in for they didn't weigh my bags nor charge me for checking them! and my "carry-on" was no problem. Some Canadians, Jesus.
Back to my point about being there 3 hours early in fear of missing my flight: From the time I stepped up to the desk to check-in to the time I sat down here (I'm currently sitting in the lounge, waiting for my flight), including security check one, dumping my checked bags, security check two that included a full body pat down, US customs with a chatty agent, AND a Tim Horton's purchase... it took 15minutes.
Good thing the wifi is free because I now have TWO FUCKING HOURS to kill.

Thanks a lot Terrorist.